"Ya know, when I was a kid" and that was all it took for me to tune out whatever my parents were saying to me. Heck, any adult who was starting a lecture with that got the glassied eye look from me. Yawn. Who cares, that was then and this is now. However, never EVER would I have ever thought about verbalizing that or giving that attitude to the adult in front of me. If I did I could expect some repercussions. Serious repercussions. Depending on what I did, insane and crazy repercussions. Except, since I had earned them, I wasn't surprised when they came my way. I learned real quick to not roll my eyes in front of my mother but wait til I had turned my back.
Not any more. Boy oh boy it's a new world. One where teenagers are allowed or expected to have foul mouths and nasty attitudes and feel like they are already owed a living. It's crazy. When I speak up about it I get told that I don't understand since I'm not a parent. First, I don't need to be a parent to know that you do not speak to strangers and elders that way. How would being a parent change my mind on this issue?? Second, take my critism as it is, a critique of your parenting skills. My parents had enough skills to raise me to be respectful so I'm expecting no less from you. I would expect no less from myself if I were blessed to raise children.
In this new world it all seems to be about the defensive position and sending out blame. It's never my fault, it's your fault and you have no right to be upset. The fact that I just cut you off in traffic or abused my child in a grocery store or allowed my 14yr old to vandalise property right in front of me? Nope, not my fault but HOW DARE YOU step in to correct my child when I haven't felt the need to! How Rude!!!!
Yeah, this new world of childrearing is for the birds. Who are being being raised?? What will we get from this seed that is being planted?? Sure there are good kids out there and they have parents who love them and take their responsibility seriously. Good for them! Too bad they aren't applauded more and used as the bar setters for the rest of the parents. That used to be the norm. Then the word shame took on a different meaning and we all ran to make sure that we never used that word again. Wrong again! The word is valid and should be used where it belongs. A child victim of abuse should never feel shame. However, the abuser should feel shame until it overwhelms him and he feels smaller than he made his victim feel. The victim of rape should never feel shame, but the rapist should! Shame is not a bad word, how it was being used may have been wrong.
So now we have a generation of kids who don't know the appropriate usage of the word shame and they are being taught that if they want something then they deserve it. The parents of these kids, more often than not, in my experience with them, don't involve themselves emotionally, spiritually or constructively. Life is all about them and this whole raising kids thing is just something else they have to pencil in on the calendar. So, why are we so surprised when the kids behave as if it's all about some social calendar and not about human interaction.
When I say, "if it was good enough for me then it's good enough for you" it's because I am a citizen of this country, pay my taxes, obey the laws (except that pesky 55mph but then if I get a ticket I know I earned it) and try to look out for my fellow citizen. It's not a higher standard than I have for myself and it's not a higher standard than my parents had for me or themselves. If it aint' broke don't fix it. Our pendulum has swung too far to the other side and once again we are catering to an entire generation. Maybe if more people thought of children as a blessing and not a right? Maybe that would be a good place to start.
No comments:
Post a Comment